2 minute read
Rome, What have we done?
Ferrari hauled its first electric car out to Rome on Monday like it was the next Mona Lisa. The internet handed it a participation trophy and lit it on fire. The car is called the Luce, Italian for “light,” which is cute, because the lights went out on Wall Street twelve hours later. Shares cratered more than 8% Tuesday and torched billions before anyone in Milan finished their espresso.
Jony Ive Did the Whole Car, Not Just the Cupholders
Some Apple fan sites softened the blow by claiming Sir Johnny only handled the interior, like he was a guest who reorganized the silverware drawer. Nope. Ferrari’s own press release says LoveFrom shaped the exterior, interior, and interface. All of it. Five years of Jony and Marc Newson cooking up what looks, depending on who you ask, like a Nissan Leaf, Honda Accord, a Tesla Model 3, or a giant Magic Mouse with suicide doors. The wipers park vertically like the Cybertruck’s. Ferrari outsourced its electric future to the guy who killed the headphone jack and botched butterfly keyboards on Macs. What could possibly go wrong?
The Italians Are Furious and the Knives Are Out
Luca di Montezemolo ran Ferrari for twenty years and signed off on the cars hanging on every teenager’s bedroom wall. Asked what he thought, he said if he told the truth he’d hurt the company, then buried it anyway. “Destruction of a myth.” Suggested they yank the prancing horse off the hood. Italy’s deputy prime minister jumped in next, asking on X what Enzo Ferrari would say, which is the Italian equivalent of summoning grandpa’s ghost for the smackdown. An Alpine F1 advisor added the bright side is the Chinese won’t bother stealing this one. When rivals are dunking with charity, you’ve shipped a turd.
TechCrunch Used the C-Word
The Luce has the specs of a fever dream. A thousand horsepower. Zero to sixty in two seconds. A 122 kWh battery. Nobody cares. TechCrunch called it the most mocked vehicle since the Cybertruck, which for a luxury brand is the equivalent of being compared to Crocs at the Met Gala. Price tag? Around €550,000, roughly $640,000. Congrats, you can now spend Miami condo money on the world’s most expensive exotic minivan. Yes, it seats five.
The Real Disaster Nobody’s Talking About Yet
Here’s the gut punch. Ferrari already quietly buried its second EV until 2028. Sources told Reuters customer demand for an electric Ferrari is, direct quote, “zero.” Not low. Zero. This $640,000 mistake was supposed to be the appetizer for the real main course, now politely shoved into the back of the freezer. Porsche pulled back. Lamborghini punted to 2029. Maserati canceled its electric MC20. If Ferrari can’t sell rich people a luxury EV, the whole premium electric fantasy might be DOA. What do you think?
Sources: Reuters, CNBC, TechCrunch, Bloomberg, Ferrari, Engadget, MacRumors, Designboom, Carscoops
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